Divorce and Understanding What Your Children Go Through

Divorce is never an easy process to endure, especially when you have children in the equation. With upset routines and the onset of inevitable changes, it’s more important than ever to be understanding of what your children go through as well. And while you can’t necessarily extinguish their emotional pain of what’s happening, you can offer ways to help them cope with the process and emotions that they’re enduring.

Here are some tips to keep in mind for both you and your children when going through a divorce.

Focus on Self-Awareness Rather Than Worrying

It’s innate for parents to worry about their kids –especially when enduring something that’s as emotionally chaotic as a divorce. But it’s important to recognize that a failure in marriage does not mean that you’ve failed as a parent. What’s important and more crucial than ever during a divorce is to breathe and to focus on pouring your energy into self-awareness as you continue to raise your children. In order to be a good parent you need to remain strong, healthy and stable. So rather than wasting energy on worrying about the kids, just focus as much as you can on healing and moving forward in a constructive and healthy manner so that you can be there for them.

Keep Any Harsh Words or Thoughts Away From The Kids

Divorce can instigate many harsh thoughts and words between you and your ex-spouse. But for the sake of your kids, keep these only between the adults if you can’t avoid them. Children absorb so much of what they see and hear around them, and that includes any destructive words and energy. You can’t avoid what’s happening with your separation, but understanding what your children go through means recognizing that they shouldn’t be involved in any hurtful banter.

Focus on Maintaining Routines

During a divorce, the regular routines and schedules that your kids grew up on and learned to evolve with can change in an instant. This can exacerbate feelings of emotional turmoil and anxiety. Try to maintain as much of their regular routines as possible to provide as much stability during this very tumultuous time.

Listen and Answer Their Questions Honestly

You’ve raised your kids to be thoughtful and intelligent individuals, so trust in their ability to handle what’s happening. The more you treat them as being capable, the more likely they’ll be at handling the changes that are happening in a compassionate and understanding way.  But above all, talk to them, listen to them and answer their questions sincerely and honestly. In addition, consider speaking with a counsellor.

Whether you have one child or several children, each child will react and respond differently to a divorce.  In order to understand what your children go through, it’s crucial that you talk to them, listen to them, avoid any hurtful banter, and focus on providing as much of a stable, loving environment for them to grow up in when all is said and done.
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