I fervently wish that you connect with another as a soul-mate in this life, and if you do not, “re-member” that you are your own best soul-mate!!


Many people ask me how they can tell when they are fortunate enough to come in contact with a soul-mate. The following is my first attempt at drawing up a partial list of the signals and feelings and thoughts, etc. that are “early warning signs” of an approaching soul-mate:


  1. They are rare. Most people report having never had one. A few people report having two. Almost nobody reports having three or more.
  2. Somehow one knows that it is worth the investment in pain and uncertainty of the early stages of the relationship. The investment feels like a “no loss proposition” because one feels that they can’t lose no matter what happens.
  3. There is a sense of “déja-vu”, a feeling that the relationship is a continuation of a relationship that stretches beyond time and space and one’s own life-span.
  4. The relationship leads one to feel that a legacy is evolving, a sense of eternity in that death cannot end the growth of the relationship.
  5. A feeling of being connected “in the flesh” permeates the relationship. This is akin to the concept of communion in some religions. It is not confused with sexual or physical attraction or satisfaction.
  6. The relationship allows each other to be a “free spirit”. Each partner feels very comfortable with being “free to be you and me”. The Buddhists call it “non-attachment” (which is not to be confused with detachment). A word that doesn’t exist in the English language, which probably should, “inter-independence”, would aptly describe this state.
  7. Because one is able to access the heights of bliss in the soul-mate relationship, it appears as though there is a correspondingly high cost – very deep, and sometimes agonizing, pain. The bliss and the pain seem to happen only as a duality. Sometimes it feels like one’s psyche is being torn apart. The higher the bliss, the higher the pain…AND the pain is well worth it!!
  8. The inventory of “memorable times” starts building up very early in the relationship and never stops building. Each soul-mate can instantaneously remember even minute details about each and every memorable time.
  9. When one soul-mate sees the other’s home for the first time, there is not a single object or art work or colour, etc. that is not pleasing and natural to their senses.
  10. Each time one’s soul-mate appears after being “away” for as little as a few hours there is a rush of joy or pleasure experienced.
  11. When one’s soul-mate is away for a long time (several days) there is a feeling of being like a “fish out of water”.
  12. There is an uncanny knowledge that no matter how big a rift that takes place, that, “when the dust settles”, the couple will still be standing strong together.
  13. The “chemistry” feels right with the relationship. The mere presence of the soul-mate causes energy to flow freely and blocks to melt away without effort.
  14. When one dies the last face that they want to see before the “lights go out” is the face of their soul-mate.
  15. Often sex with one’s soul-mate is “off scale”!!