A separation is always a hard and painful process to go through. But you as an individual have the power to make it as peaceful and pleasant as possible. To make it easier for both you and the kids, here are our tips for handling joint-custody.
It can be challenging to bite your tongue when dealing with intense, hurtful emotions. But try to take a moment to consider the cost-benefit of firing off at your ex. When you do, you’ll see that it may provide some temporary relief by giving you a moment to vent, but it will also end up hurting your kids and escalating the tension and problems. Instead, try to remain as respectful as possible by viewing your ex as a colleague. When there’s an appointment to attend, show up on time, be courteous, and hold your ground if need be, but do so in a way that still sets a good example for your kids.
Keep the Kids Out of the Conflict as Much as Possible
Kids pick up on a lot that goes on around them, especially when it comes to the tension between parents. And the last thing any kid wants to do is have to side with one parent over the other. To prevent this, avoid having any disputes and confrontations when they are around.
Create a Plan Together
Having a separation that drags on for years doesn’t benefit anyone. It can cause emotional trauma for the kids and cost you a fortune. To avoid this, sit down with a mediator or counsellor to help create a parenting plan together. Problems with communication is often a common culprit for why breakups happen in the first place. That’s why it can be very beneficial to meet with a professional mediator who can help to direct and guide the conversations to be effective, productive and respectful.
Think About What Makes Sense For Your Children
Your children should always be the priority when it comes to collaborating on a joint-custody plan. If you head out of town frequently for your career, then it might make more sense for the kids to live predominantly with your ex. So be open and willing to adjust the plans, even if they’re not always an even 50/50 split. It simply might not make sense.
Get Your Kids Input
If your kids are old enough, get them involved by asking for their input. See what’s important to them and work as best you can to provide flexibility to make the transition process as easy on them as possible. Ottawa Counselling is here to provide the support you need when you’re going through a separation. If you want to arrange mediation services to help you and your ex work through a joint-custody plan, get in touch today to book an appointment.