How to Put Children First in a Divorce

How to Put Children First in a Divorce

“Til death do us apart” is the phrase that we all want to be constant, eternal, and something to stick to while taking our marriage vows. But marriage does not always work out as intended, and in about half of all instances it leads to separation and divorce.

For a childless couple, the process seems relatively less complicated than those having kids.

Before a couple decides on separation or divorce, couples counselling from Ottawa Counselling Services is highly recommended. Couples counselling has been proven to have a constructive outcome in many of the cases. Thorough one-to-one and face-to-face conversations with each other with the help and presence of a counsellor have been able to resolve issues for many couples.

However, there are also many instances where divorce is the best outcome for all involved. In such instances, it is the children who are usually left in the middle. They feel they must choose between parents, when all they want is for things to go back to the way they were and for the family to remain whole.

Prioritize Children

One way to put children first in a divorce is to prioritize their needs in the divorce agreement.  Make sure there are clear provisions for the kids’ custody, vacationing, visiting, parenting strategies, etc. related to the kids. Many divorcing spouses choose mediation as a way to negotiate these clauses in a fair way with the guidance of an impartial third party mediator.

A mediator can also help find a fair and equitable arrangement for financial issues. It is very essential to take care of the issues like future financial support, education and other kids-related issues so the children can continue to enjoy a stable standard of living.

Communicate With Your Children

On the other hand, if your kids are grown enough to talk and understand, it is highly advised and also recommended that the parents talk and communicate with their children in an age-appropriate way.

Every child reacts differently on their parent’s divorce, and it is very common for the children to react poorly to their parent’s divorce but eventually they come to terms with it. The parents need to be a little compassionate and sensitive with them while dealing with it. Family counselling or individual counselling for the children can help make the transition easier and equip every member of the family with communication tools needed to guide through this period.

In this way, the children will also feel secure and will get a feeling that their parents are putting them first and their future welfare and well-being even when considering divorce.