What is a Healthy Argument?
Arguments are a natural, healthy part of any relationship. But how we deal with those arguments is what matters for allowing relationships to thrive and grow. A healthy argument is all about maintaining a level of respect for both yourself and for the other person, while working towards solving the issue. Yelling and begrudging never gets you anywhere.
The next time you have an argument with someone, keep these tips in mind to help ensure it’s a healthy one that can offer more potential for a positive outcome.
Take a Moment
We all know how some arguments can appear to arise out of nowhere. So naturally, they can startle you and take you off guard. If your immediate reaction is to snap back, take a moment first to just take a deep breath and collect your thoughts. You can listen to the other person, but that doesn’t mean you need to respond immediately. It’s always best to engage when you have taken a moment to calm yourself and gather your thoughts so that you can respectfully talk it out.
Ask Positive Questions that Work Towards a Solution
Sometimes, if you feel as though no response or solution that you provide is helping the situation, try to ask some positive questions that can help achieve an answer. Ask the person “How might we solve this?” With persistent positive inquiry, the person will be drawn towards resolving the issue as well. Additionally, it shows that you care about working towards resolving whatever the problem may be.
Explain, Don’t Judge
Always try to be clear when explaining what you are upset about. If there was a particular action or event, explain and describe those actions and then explain how it made you feel. Don’t jump to judgemental accusations. That will only work to escalate the argument in most cases, not resolve it.
Finally, the most important factor that must be present in any healthy argument is respect. Without respect, an argument about the simplest matter can escalate into a name-calling, bitter, hurtful battle that can end up doing some pretty permanent damage to that relationship. So try to always maintain a level of respect during any argument.
No one enjoys arguing, but it’s something that can’t always be avoided in life. So when you’re faced with one, it’s important to maintain your composure and a level of respect where you can talk out the situation and work towards a positive outcome. Learning to manoeuvre any tiff into a healthy argument will benefit you greatly in life.
If you have communication issues with your spouse, you may find couples counselling (also known as relationship counselling) to be helpful.